Happy Mother's Day! Many of us have amazing Mothers in our lives, whether they belong to us or not. All of the Facebook posts started me thinking about the incredible women I have in my life.
I have a three wonderful people that play the role of mother for me. The woman that gave birth to me. Bless her heart. She's the one that deserves the credit for my survival. She did allow me to live, even after I borrowed her car (more than once) when I was just 13. (See Not Like Me) She put up with my attitude and hormones. She celebrated my successes and loved me through my failures.
My "other" Mother (aka Step-Mother) came along right as I was at the age of plotting to borrow the car. She married my Dad, even though he had one teenager and two more right behind. She will earn a special place in heaven for that act alone. She too has loved and supported me though all things. She is truly one of the best mothers I know and I have two incredible siblings to show for it!
My Mother-in-law is probably the luckiest of them all. She got the good me. She didn't have to put up with my teenage antics, she never had to discipline me, cover for me or be remotely embarrassed about something I had done. She got me after the others had put in all the work. After I had learned from not only my own mothers, but the other mothers and women around me. She acquired me at my best after the other two had seen and known all about the worst. AND I even took her daughter off her hands! ;)
Thinking about how these three women touch my life on a daily basis made me think about some of the other women who have made a difference to me and mothers or not, I wanted to acknowledge some of them in some small way. Don't panic ladies... in most cases, I won't use names.
My newest friend - who I met on Craigslist. (NO, I wasn't looking for friends - I was looking for a glider.) Your story amazes me every day! You have come back from things that you only see in movies! You are a genuinely kind and wonderful person. You are an amazing mother, wife and friend.
My SoCal to Seattle Friend - You are really my vision of a warrior woman! You are so brave. You have the faith and fearlessness that most women (myself included) only dream about. You keep on going even when things don't go as planned and you never miss a beat.
Max's Workday Mommy - You know firsthand how hard it is to leave your baby at daycare. What you may not know firsthand is how awesome it is to know that your child is completely safe, well taken care of and loved while you are at work. Thank you for loving our little guy Monday - Friday!
My co-worker turned real life friend - You show me every day that you don't have to be SuperMom to be a really terrific Mom! You constantly keep me off the ledge by reminding me that even the very best moms sometimes have to give their kids frozen dinners once in awhile and that none of that matters by the end of the week.
My amazing sister-in-law - We all know what you have had to endure to be part of this family. (Ha!) You are smart, funny and courageous. You are a great Mom and a wonderful Aunt to my kiddos and I am proud to call you my sister!
Max's GodMommies - There really aren't words to explain how we feel about you two! We watched you through your adoption journey and knew that our son deserved Godparents like you. Watching and waiting through your pregnancy made us proud to call you Max's Godparents and our friends. Emersyn is one of the luckiest little girls we know!
The most talented writer I've ever met - You are not only the funniest, most kind and warm person I've ever met you are the only person I've ever met who was granted a divorce on Valentine's Day and had the heart and soul to get married again!
My friend whose heart is in Alaska - You my friend are truly one of the best women I have ever met. You are an incredible mother. You make it look so, so easy. You are a wonderful wife and while I know it's not always easy, you have more determination in your spirit than I will ever have in mine.
Oregon Mother of Three - You have endured what most of us can not even begin to imagine. Yet you went on and continue to be the kind of mother your girls can be proud of.
Last but not ever least... My very best friend on the planet - You have shown me over the last 15 years what true friendship looks like. I know without a doubt you always, ALWAYS have my back. You have dug me out of some pretty dark places and while I will probably never have the opportunity to truly repay you, I do know a few secrets and they are safe with me. Toothbrushes and Weed-Be-Gone. Enough said.
I have many friends and many who are wonderful, incredible and amazing in their own right. I can't acknowledge them all, I have to work in the morning but take a minute today to let some amazing women know how you feel about them. It may just be exactly what they need to hear.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
365 Days
Exactly one year ago at this very minute my water broke. This was the first indication that our son would be born two and a half weeks early. Contractions ensued forty-five minutes later and that was a strong indication that we would be having a baby sooner rather than later. Less than five hours after that, our absolutely perfect baby boy was born. (You can read the entire birth story here: Birth Day )
One year later, our lives have changed in ways even we didn't expect. We've had to renegotiate everything in our lives from closet space to sleep. We've modified our work schedules, date nights and free time. We eat at noisy restaurants and plan trips around nap schedules. I learned to change a diaper in record time, but not before I had been peed on at least a hundred times before. I learned to nurse my son not only TO sleep but WHILE I was sleeping. I learned to make baby food and also learned that making Pomegranate Sauce should be left to the professionals. I’ve learned that the human body can survive on much less sleep than I would have ever imagined. I learned that the cry of a baby with colic can sound like the loudest cry you’ve ever heard. I also learned that the lack of sleep combined with that cry can make you cry…. sometimes in public. I learned that leaving your infant in daycare at only 12 weeks is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I learned that nursing my son through his first year of life and working full-time was not as easy as I thought it would be. I learned that sometimes people want to hang out with you just to see the baby. I learned that a baby cutting several teeth at once can drool more than a rabid Saint Bernard and I learned that even an 11 month old can do things you only thought started at “Terrible Two.”
I’ve learned that noisy restaurants don’t matter when all you care about is what your baby is “saying.” I’ve learned that being peed on, puked on and even pooped on can be funny under most circumstances because he’s just so cute, even THAT doesn’t matter. I’ve learned that making baby food made me feel a little closer to Max even when I was scrubbing Pomegranate seeds off the ceiling. I’ve learned that sleep just doesn’t matter as much as it used to. I’ve learned that in the middle of the night, no matter how exhausted I am, my son can look at me with just the slightest smile and I could stay up with him all night long. I learned that sometimes it’s just okay to cry… even in public. I learned that by making the very best possible choice for a daycare provider our son may not get to spend the days with his own Mommy but he gets to spend his days with another amazing Mommy and that is truly the next best thing. I learned that even when I was so busy and preoccupied at work that I actually forgot to attach the bottles to my pump being fortunate enough to be able to continue nursing made it all worth it. I learned that when our friends are more interested in seeing the baby than seeing us it serves as a reminder that the family unit we’ve created is strong, nurturing and stable and will be a wonderful place for Max to grow up. I’ve learned that drool (unless you’re wearing black) is virtually undetectable in a business meeting and I’ve learned that an 11 month old spitting his food out can be entertaining and even comical.
In the past 365 days I’ve learned that I’m not a perfect Mother, wife or friend. I’ve learned that I have a lot to learn about all three of those roles but I’ve also learned that when I look at the amazing blessing that we call Max, when he smiles, laughs, “talks” and even cries none of that matters because I am the perfect mother for him.
Dear Max,
On your first birthday, thank you for giving me one of the best years of my life. Thank you for your sweet smile, infectious laugh, the best hugs and the drooliest kisses. Thank you for making us laugh and reminding me that it’s okay to cry. I hope that when you are old enough to read this you will think that I’ve given you some of the best years of your life too! If not, it’s okay. We’re already saving for therapy.
I couldn’t have dreamt of a more perfect baby boy and I love you more than you will ever know!
Happy Birthday Sweet Boy!
One year later, our lives have changed in ways even we didn't expect. We've had to renegotiate everything in our lives from closet space to sleep. We've modified our work schedules, date nights and free time. We eat at noisy restaurants and plan trips around nap schedules. I learned to change a diaper in record time, but not before I had been peed on at least a hundred times before. I learned to nurse my son not only TO sleep but WHILE I was sleeping. I learned to make baby food and also learned that making Pomegranate Sauce should be left to the professionals. I’ve learned that the human body can survive on much less sleep than I would have ever imagined. I learned that the cry of a baby with colic can sound like the loudest cry you’ve ever heard. I also learned that the lack of sleep combined with that cry can make you cry…. sometimes in public. I learned that leaving your infant in daycare at only 12 weeks is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I learned that nursing my son through his first year of life and working full-time was not as easy as I thought it would be. I learned that sometimes people want to hang out with you just to see the baby. I learned that a baby cutting several teeth at once can drool more than a rabid Saint Bernard and I learned that even an 11 month old can do things you only thought started at “Terrible Two.”
I’ve learned that noisy restaurants don’t matter when all you care about is what your baby is “saying.” I’ve learned that being peed on, puked on and even pooped on can be funny under most circumstances because he’s just so cute, even THAT doesn’t matter. I’ve learned that making baby food made me feel a little closer to Max even when I was scrubbing Pomegranate seeds off the ceiling. I’ve learned that sleep just doesn’t matter as much as it used to. I’ve learned that in the middle of the night, no matter how exhausted I am, my son can look at me with just the slightest smile and I could stay up with him all night long. I learned that sometimes it’s just okay to cry… even in public. I learned that by making the very best possible choice for a daycare provider our son may not get to spend the days with his own Mommy but he gets to spend his days with another amazing Mommy and that is truly the next best thing. I learned that even when I was so busy and preoccupied at work that I actually forgot to attach the bottles to my pump being fortunate enough to be able to continue nursing made it all worth it. I learned that when our friends are more interested in seeing the baby than seeing us it serves as a reminder that the family unit we’ve created is strong, nurturing and stable and will be a wonderful place for Max to grow up. I’ve learned that drool (unless you’re wearing black) is virtually undetectable in a business meeting and I’ve learned that an 11 month old spitting his food out can be entertaining and even comical.
In the past 365 days I’ve learned that I’m not a perfect Mother, wife or friend. I’ve learned that I have a lot to learn about all three of those roles but I’ve also learned that when I look at the amazing blessing that we call Max, when he smiles, laughs, “talks” and even cries none of that matters because I am the perfect mother for him.
Dear Max,
On your first birthday, thank you for giving me one of the best years of my life. Thank you for your sweet smile, infectious laugh, the best hugs and the drooliest kisses. Thank you for making us laugh and reminding me that it’s okay to cry. I hope that when you are old enough to read this you will think that I’ve given you some of the best years of your life too! If not, it’s okay. We’re already saving for therapy.
I couldn’t have dreamt of a more perfect baby boy and I love you more than you will ever know!
Happy Birthday Sweet Boy!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Reflections and Resolutions
It’s a New Year! Actually, it has been. For three weeks. There’s no question, 2010 was an amazing year! 2010 showed me a lot of things both about myself and about the people I surround myself with, some good, some bad but each a good lesson.
In February we added to our family with the birth of Mad Max! Our lives have never been the same and I mean that in the most positive of ways! Our family grew in size and strength as we all learned a different way of living life with a newborn in the house. As it turns out, I am much less flexible now than I was when Allyssa was a baby but I’m working on that.
Allyssa… Wow! What a year for her! My baby girl graduated high school in May. I have had hundreds of proud moments with my daughter but that (so far) was one near the top of the list. As I watched Allyssa cross the stage to get her diploma I tried hard to envision her as she was when she had her Kindergarten graduation but somehow the reality of her being a young adult took over and I couldn’t conjure up the image.
In June I moved her in to her dorm and she started a new chapter. Allyssa had a class that day, so I was going to go to the apartment early and she would meet me there afterward. I packed the car on move-in day and drove the 70+ miles in silence. When I got to the school I went to the residential office and got the key. The woman behind the desk said, “You don’t look old enough to have a daughter in college!” With that I burst into tears. It was a long day. I managed to pull it together before Allyssa came home and after the apartment was clean and everything was in its place it was time for me to go back home. Allyssa insisted on walking me to the car, even though I asked her not to since I could already feel the tears coming. As we got to the car I hugged my sweet girl and cried. I told her how much I loved her and how truly proud I was of her. She looked at me and said, “You should be proud of yourself. You got me here.” And with that… I cried some more. I see my daughter mature as the weeks go by and while I will probably always see her as my baby I couldn’t be more proud of the young woman she has become.
2010 was a year of many changes. I added a son and started sharing custody of my daughter with a state college over an hour away. I learned to manage my time at home more wisely and learned how to be okay with the fact that sometimes there just isn’t enough time in the day. I learned to truly accept people for what they are and to realize that some people are just not good. 2010 made me a better person and my resolution for 2011 is to continue that trend. Maybe I can update my blog more frequently too!
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