I wonder....

I was browsing Internet news yesterday and listened to a clip from Good Morning America that included an interview from 2003 with Amy Yasbeck – John Ritter's widow. She tearfully spoke about her husband and how he treated people. "To go back and look at his life… He talked to you like that was the last time he was ever going to talk to you, every time he saw you. He'd give you a little summary of how wonderful you were and how proud he was of you and you felt loved and supported and sent off with a little bounce in your step out into the world. He did that every day."

After I listened, with a very heavy heart I thought of one of my oldest friends (since junior high) and the fact that just two weeks ago she very unexpectedly became a widow at age 34 - with three young children. I thought of another friend who several months ago unexpectedly lost her mother and is continually comforting her young sons as they miss their Grandma. I thought of my own daughter who at only 13 had to experience the unexpected loss one of her own very close friends and is planning to donate an Easter lily at our church in his name as the second anniversary of his death is coming up. Then I thought about myself for a minute and wondered if the people in my life know, truly know, every day how I feel about them.

I wonder if my Mother knows that even though we rarely see eye to eye, I value and appreciate everything she has brought into my life. If my father knows that if given the choice, I still would have chosen him to be my Dad. I wonder if my step-parents know that I wouldn't have rather grown up any other way and I am very happy to be the only person I know that truly feels as though I have two moms and two dads … and neither of my parents are gay. I wonder if my brother knows that I love him with all my heart and through good times and bad, I've got his back and if my future sister-in-law knows that I love her as if she were my biological sister. I wonder if my sister knows that even though there aren't two more different people on the planet, I only wish the very best for her and if my two youngest siblings know that regardless of the differences in our age, I am so very proud of them both. I wonder if my niece and nephews know that not only am I the best Auntie ever… I love those kids like I love my own. I wonder if each of my friends, no matter how near or far know that they hold a very special place in my heart and in some cases have done or said things that have had lasting impact in my life. I wonder if my daughter knows that even on her very worst day, I love her more than I could have ever fathomed loving another human being. That my love for her is absolute and unconditional and that I am more proud of her than I can even express. I wonder if Lisa knows that without a shadow of doubt, that I love her with my whole heart, that she is the best thing about me and that she truly makes me a better person… The list could go on…but I wonder if when my time here is up if the people that are a part of my life will say that with me they felt loved and supported and sent off with a little bounce in their step out into the world…

I wonder if I could do that every day.