To Self Check or Not To Self Check

Okay... so it's 8:45 PM on a weekend night and I, accompanied by another logical adult am on my way to a "superstore" that will remain unnamed. (ONLY because I don't want to send one ounce of energy their way.) I will call said Superstore - Satan's Lair. We enter the den of the devil and make a quick run exactly to the aisle we need and rush to get out of there before any of the reasons I despise shopping there rub off on me.... We head to the check out and see that true to form, there are 124 people in line at approximately 3 registers. (Yes, that is a slight exaggeration - but not much.) So I look to my right and see that the lights are on at the Self Check. **Note that I am ALREADY ADAMANTLY OPPOSED to self check - am I getting a discount? NO. Then why the hell am I checking out my own stuff?? ** So I get to the self check (further into the depths of hell) where I am greeted by a "woman" (I think) who has 3 teeth, bad grammar and is in the management program. She informs me that the SELF check lanes are closed. Apparently they close at 9:00. HOWEVER, I remind her that it is NOT 9:00 - it's only 8:50. "Sorry " she says, "we have to close 'em down and theys (YES - THEYS) closed." Okay...so let me get this straight - I am checking MYSELF out... I do not need assistance (THANK GOD!) from anyone working (or pretending to work) but you still have to close the self check registers? AND you have to close them EARLY? She mumbled something under her breath and I vowed again to avoid Satan's Lair at all costs. The store is dirty, on any given day I feel like I am on the set of Deliverence when I go in there and the customer service is NONEXISTENT!!

My best friend told me that said Superstore was the home of the devil years ago.... She's always right... I should have listened!