Do you think she liked her Graduation present?
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Birth Day
It’s been two months since Max’s Birth Day and every day since then I’ve thought about writing about it… and then remembered (or was reminded) that my time is no longer my own and something else took precedence. Right this minute, I happen to have some time. How much time will be determined by the length of my son's nap, but I might as well get it started.
At the end of the work day on February 4th, my new co-worker (who was in the process of being trained to do my job while I was to be out on Maternity Leave) left me at the elevator and said, “Don’t go having a baby over the weekend!” With almost three weeks left until my due date, I had no intention of having the baby over the weekend. I laughed, drove home, ate dinner, went to Target and got on the computer while Lisa got in the shower and Allyssa prepared for school on Friday.
It was raining (again) and I was ready for the weekend. About fifteen minutes into email and Facebook, I heard a noise that can best be described as the sound you hear when someone purposefully “pops” their back or neck but I felt it in my stomach. It wasn’t painful and for a second I thought I might have ripped my pants. After all, I was 37 weeks pregnant – stranger things have happened. I stood up to find the source of the noise and to say that water was gushing out of my pants would be an understatement. I called to Lisa – at first a little panicked (mostly because there was SO MUCH WATER) and then laughed at the reality that I was in fact going to have a baby. Soon.
It was 9:00. We called the midwife to let her know what was going on and since I hadn’t yet had any contractions, she told me to go ahead and shower, try to get some sleep and if my contractions didn’t start on their own to call her in the morning. (This is one of the many wonderful things about planning for a natural childbirth!) While Lisa and Allyssa were loading the car and gathering last minute things I took a shower and dried my hair. At 9:45 I felt my first contraction. I got the timer and went about my business thinking it would 15 or more minutes before I would have another. Four minutes later I knew I wouldn’t be going to sleep – and more importantly, I knew I’d be talking to the midwife again long before the morning. We timed the contractions for about thirty minutes at four minutes apart. By 10:30 they were two minutes apart and relatively intense. By 11:00 they were a minute and a half apart and we timed them for about another half hour and then decided it was time to go. NOW!
The thirty minute ride to the hospital in the rain with very hard, very close contractions was the longest thirty minutes of my life. Allyssa followed in her car and we arrived at the hospital shortly after midnight. Allyssa and I got out at the front and Lisa went to park the cars. We walked in and were directed upstairs to labor and delivery. We took the elevator up and approximately 15 minutes later finally made it down the hall after I had to stop several times to beat on the wall to get through my contractions. Allyssa (having only attended one Bradley Class with me) did a great job talking me through and asking the nurses to wait to ask me questions until I was done. The midwife was already there and they got me to my room. I was put on a monitor for thirty minutes (standard protocol) and once that was done I was able to get up and move again. I was dilated to 8cm and my contractions were still a minute and a half apart. At this point things were getting kind of chaotic. I won’t pretend like I wasn’t in A LOT of pain, but for our family we knew natural childbirth was the way we wanted to go and I also knew at that point it couldn’t possibly be much longer. It felt like it was a hundred degrees in the room, although the nurses assured me that the thermostat was as low as it would go. Allyssa did a great job of getting me cold rags and Lisa did a great job talking me through the contractions and allowing me to use her arm as a punching bag. At the end of the work day on February 4th, my new co-worker (who was in the process of being trained to do my job while I was to be out on Maternity Leave) left me at the elevator and said, “Don’t go having a baby over the weekend!” With almost three weeks left until my due date, I had no intention of having the baby over the weekend. I laughed, drove home, ate dinner, went to Target and got on the computer while Lisa got in the shower and Allyssa prepared for school on Friday.
It was raining (again) and I was ready for the weekend. About fifteen minutes into email and Facebook, I heard a noise that can best be described as the sound you hear when someone purposefully “pops” their back or neck but I felt it in my stomach. It wasn’t painful and for a second I thought I might have ripped my pants. After all, I was 37 weeks pregnant – stranger things have happened. I stood up to find the source of the noise and to say that water was gushing out of my pants would be an understatement. I called to Lisa – at first a little panicked (mostly because there was SO MUCH WATER) and then laughed at the reality that I was in fact going to have a baby. Soon.
It was 9:00. We called the midwife to let her know what was going on and since I hadn’t yet had any contractions, she told me to go ahead and shower, try to get some sleep and if my contractions didn’t start on their own to call her in the morning. (This is one of the many wonderful things about planning for a natural childbirth!) While Lisa and Allyssa were loading the car and gathering last minute things I took a shower and dried my hair. At 9:45 I felt my first contraction. I got the timer and went about my business thinking it would 15 or more minutes before I would have another. Four minutes later I knew I wouldn’t be going to sleep – and more importantly, I knew I’d be talking to the midwife again long before the morning. We timed the contractions for about thirty minutes at four minutes apart. By 10:30 they were two minutes apart and relatively intense. By 11:00 they were a minute and a half apart and we timed them for about another half hour and then decided it was time to go. NOW!
I stood through my contractions and at some point I knew it was time. I told my midwife it was time for me to push. I laid down… and that’s what I started to do. The room was very dimly lit and as I was pushing, I was thinking about everything going on around me. I knew that everyone there – two nurses, a midwife, my spouse and my daughter were now all waiting on me to do my job. Everyone else had done theirs. The nurses and midwife had been very accommodating to our requests and had been very supportive and helpful during the last difficult hour of labor. Lisa and Allyssa had been nothing short of incredible. Helping to make me as comfortable as possible, talking me through the contractions, cheering me on and letting me know when each contraction was almost over. Although I later found out that their words of encouragement – “It’s almost over” was actually just something they were saying to pacify me. Neither had the heart to tell me when I asked only seconds in to a contraction, “How much longer??” that the contraction had only just started and there was nearly a full minute left. (This fact could present a problem with their credibility should I decide to have any other children.) My in-laws were in the waiting room and everyone was waiting on me, including my son.It was then I began to think about my son who was about to be born. With every push I thought about how loved this little boy was and he wasn’t even born yet! I looked at Lisa, wide-eyed with excitement and knew without any doubt that her life would never be the same. Allyssa, with her sweet face next to mine, I knew in that moment I couldn’t be more proud of her. With every push I knew everyone was waiting on me.
As the baby crowned, I knew I was getting closer. I knew our little family of three was about to be four and that God was about to bless us more than we could have ever imagined. I don’t know how long I pushed – Lisa said it was about ten minutes. I know that on the last push, my nurse said, “This is it!” and I pushed with everything I had, I was ready to meet our newest family member and I was ready to rest. Max Adric Bailey was born on February 5th at 2:44 AM. As he was placed on my chest, with Lisa and Allyssa beside me, at that moment there was no one else in the world but us. As we looked at Max and each other, I knew we were starting a new chapter in our lives. Lisa was about to be the mother of a newborn, Allyssa was going to be a big sister and I was about to parent a newborn in a way I never had before, as an adult, and with a partner.
About thirty minutes after Max was born, Lisa’s parents joined us in the delivery room and the birth team left us to be with our family for the next hour. We spent the next hour talking, laughing and adoring our beautiful baby boy. We left the hospital a day and a half later.
We’ve spent the last two months adjusting to life with a new baby. Allyssa has been the most amazing big sister and Max grins at the mere sound of her voice. Lisa is an amazing Mom and takes every opportunity to be with her son – even if it means that time is spent changing a dirty diaper. I have come to grips with the fact that Max is not Allyssa. He does not sleep all night and he does not wake up smiling. I am no longer making all the decisions for my child on my own and I actually have to consult with someone else on the more important ones.
Our lives have been changed. We are busy, some days we are covered up in chaos. We are unorganized and tired but as I sit here nine weeks after our son was born, finally finishing this post, I am staring at him sound asleep in his swing and know that no matter how messy my bedroom is or how little sleep I’ve had for the last nine weeks, I don’t know how we managed to live so long without him!
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thirty-six and a half weeks down….
I’ve learned a great deal about life in general while being pregnant. I’ve learned that our bodies really are amazing. A fact that escaped me when I was pregnant the first time at a very young eighteen. I’ve learned that hormones can be a powerful thing… and not always in a good way. I’ve learned that just when you thought your belly couldn’t get any bigger, it does and that no matter how much weight you have or have not gained, you still can’t bend over and touch the floor (or the numerous objects you continually drop) from a seated position. I’ve learned that if the floor wasn’t so cold, the master bathroom might be a viable sleep option since I am in there 4-6 times a night anyway.
I’ve learned that people, no matter who they are and what their intention are bound to say things that they (probably) don’t perceive as rude, but that any other pregnant woman on the planet would agree is in fact rude. The following are included in that list:
“You must be so over being pregnant!” - No, not exactly. Not every pregnant woman on the planet is miserable just waiting to get the baby out of her! However, even MORE rude than the initial assumption that you are indeed miserable is the follow up after you tell them how great your pregnancy is and how great you feel – “Well, that is just so unfair!” – Why don’t they just say, “I was miserable and I wish you were too!”
“Wow! You are HUGE!” - Thanks, I didn’t FEEL HUGE ENOUGH before you said that!
“OMG! You are even bigger than you were yesterday!!” - Really?? Even if that were true, must it be pointed out?
“You look like you could have that baby RIGHT NOW!” – Except that I’m not due for five weeks – so probably not!
“Are you SURE there’s just one in there??” – No, we decided to make it a surprise?!
“Oh… You’re pregnant???” – Seriously??? Do you think I’m just this big WITHOUT carrying a baby around in my uterus for the last 36 weeks??
And last but not least… Calling me any name other than my own. Included but not limited to; Fatty, Chunky, Preggo, etc.
I’ve come to accept all of the above as just a part of being pregnant and truthfully, I’ve enjoyed every single minute of it. The only part I haven’t accepted is that in four weeks or less – everything about our lives will change.
Stay Tuned…
I’ve learned that people, no matter who they are and what their intention are bound to say things that they (probably) don’t perceive as rude, but that any other pregnant woman on the planet would agree is in fact rude. The following are included in that list:
“You must be so over being pregnant!” - No, not exactly. Not every pregnant woman on the planet is miserable just waiting to get the baby out of her! However, even MORE rude than the initial assumption that you are indeed miserable is the follow up after you tell them how great your pregnancy is and how great you feel – “Well, that is just so unfair!” – Why don’t they just say, “I was miserable and I wish you were too!”
“Wow! You are HUGE!” - Thanks, I didn’t FEEL HUGE ENOUGH before you said that!
“OMG! You are even bigger than you were yesterday!!” - Really?? Even if that were true, must it be pointed out?
“You look like you could have that baby RIGHT NOW!” – Except that I’m not due for five weeks – so probably not!
“Are you SURE there’s just one in there??” – No, we decided to make it a surprise?!
“Oh… You’re pregnant???” – Seriously??? Do you think I’m just this big WITHOUT carrying a baby around in my uterus for the last 36 weeks??
And last but not least… Calling me any name other than my own. Included but not limited to; Fatty, Chunky, Preggo, etc.
I’ve come to accept all of the above as just a part of being pregnant and truthfully, I’ve enjoyed every single minute of it. The only part I haven’t accepted is that in four weeks or less – everything about our lives will change.
Stay Tuned…
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